Tangled Conversation: Definition Dance
Oh for many reasons. One so I can judge it, dismiss it, not engage what may be quite uncomfortable or destabilizing to the way I want things to be and seem, and therefore move on trying to get you to see things as I see things. If you do that then I feel comfortable, because deep down I'm not sure, I'm not convinced I'm "right", so if you believe so, then that is verification that I am in fact right. And if I'm not right, then at least I have someone else who is in the same hole as me and we can commiserate in our darkness together.
Ooooookay, that was a little more involved than I was expecting. I thought you'd deflect that one with a pithy inciteful statement and move us on a new tangent.
Could've, didn't.
So it's simpler to judge a compartmentalized, described, and named concept?
Well sure, there are many ways to do so. The best is to refer to the person who discovered or elucidated or broadcasted the idea. If that person had a flaw or is viewed in some way by me as lacking, then I can assume without too much mental gymnastics that they are somehow wrong on this particular issue as well.
Yeah, I do that quite a bit.
It's real simple. Because otherwise I'd have to actually LISTEN to what you are saying. I'd have to actually get it in context, and doing so is so mentally taxing and humbling. I have to ask questions, internally, or directly to you. And then I have to do ALL this setting aside my NEED of being right in the first place.
So what's all this say?
Oh simply this. This conversation isn't an engagement of love, it's an exercise in selfishness. I'm spending the bulk of the time trying to convince myself of something I want to believe and using you as a sounding board in conjuction with my own thoughts. I'm not sharing, I'm using and I'm taking. I'm not expressing, I'm manipulating. I'm talking to you because I want to feel better about something, not that I actually care all that much about you.
Well I appreciate your honesty. How often do you do this?
Ehhh, most of the time. But it's not some binary thing, either I am or I am not. It ebbs and flows as we converse. The bulk of the time though I am intently focused on me though.
Back to the compartments. Is it wrong to label, to define?
Labels and definitions are tools, they are not the reality. A hammer is a tool, it is not a house. The word apple is a tool, it is not the actual apple. There is nothing inherent in the tool that is right or wrong. It is the spirit of the tools use that is important. Fire is a great tool when the spirit of its use is "proper." But it is devastating when the spirit is malicious. It really is a question of the seen and the unseen. Is it wrong to burn down a house?
Well yes. Isn't it?
What if it is a special effect for a movie? Or is being used for fire-fighter training?
Oh, well I guess it's okay in those cases.
See, when the unseen is unknown, you can make all sorts of judgements and be completely off. You can completely miss the boat.